YOU HAVE TO LAUGH.
Misty and I once bought a raggedy old limousine for $90.
We needed transportation and would rather look eccentric than poor.
To add to the effect,
we colored it powder blue with house paint and a brush.
At a gas station two tough guys said they knew the car
and we owed big money there.
We’d never been there before in our life!
I floored it and sped away at four miles an hour.
We played a couple of weeks at The Four Guys’ Harmony House.
All our friends from Nashville packed the place to see us.
Bob Neal had been our manager for two years
and had never seen our show.
He came in on our last night and said,
“Wow! I didn’t know you folks could do all that! I’m impressed!”
I said, “Bob, don’t you think it’s a little late?”
We left Neal and went with Bill Hall.
Miami, early 1960’s…
Misty and I were just coming off being homeless and on the street,
when a couple of musicians who had always snubbed us
asked us to fill in on their gig
because they had to do something else to do for two nights.
It was in Hialeah near the race track and a winner came in
and tipped us $100.
We almost passed out!
We never told those guys about the tip. Why make them cry?
A former associate of ours once kept our new Corvette
locked in his garage in New Mexico, and wouldn’t let us have it.
We called a friend in Massachusetts and he flew out there,
broke into the garage, and stole it back for us.
We have always gotten by with help from our friends.
When I left Buffalo they had just started building the beltway.
The next time I got back the beltway was worn out.
I never got to enjoy it in its prime.
And it never got to enjoy me in mine.
While I’m here doing stuff, The Golden Girls is on in the background.
Eddie Bracken is the guest star.
He was a famous comedic movie star and then on a lot of TV shows.
Misty and I met him in a pizza bar in Juneau, Alaska.
I’ve been barred from Friday night Bingo,
just because I like to stand in the back of the room
and yell out random numbers.
We have neighbors from New England.
They drive golf cats.
Nick next door has an herb garden.
Misty says they give her energy.
I don’t know if that’s true, but she’s out chasing cars.
They say that in case of severe storms
you should go into an interior room.
In a mobile home that’s the refrigerator.
Misty just came from Publix.
She told me a guy said this to her:
“I saw you over there giving the bananas a dirty look.”
She said to the guy, “They started it.”
I like to go to quilting on Monday night
and wait for the fights to break out.
I said, “What are we having for supper?”
Misty said, “A pile of debris.”
I said, “A French dish.”
I’d better go now. The nurses are stealing my shoes.
Copyright © Jack Blanchard 2005 to 2016