I know this is Heaven because every day here in Leesburg is Sunday.
It’s 96 here today. The heat index is 100.
When I was a kid we didn’t have heat indexes and that made it cooler.
It’s pretty damn hot when you pray for a thunderstorm.
The rain cools it off and the lightning keeps you amazingly alert.
All the TV shows in Central Florida tonight are preempted by storm reports.
I don’t understand why the safety of others
is more important than my entertainment.
The area where we live is completely surrounded by six lakes.
It’s sort of like an island with five ways on and off.
I think the lakes cool off some of the storms before they get here.
That’s a good thing.
On my walk this evening I heard somebody shout “Help!”.
It came from the house on the corner.
I knocked on the door and they told me it was just the dog barking.
I said, “You should teach that dog a different word.”
Remember when men wore maroon pants with white belts and shoes?
I was talking with Grandpa Jones about a mutual friend…
a country music star.
Grandpa was worried that our friend was taking a lot of drugs.
I said, “He takes drugs?”
Grandpa said, “Why, he’d take a overcoat button!”
Misty and I and a drummer once played on a three hour cruise.
We spent the whole evening
chasing the drums and piano around the dance floor.
For years I drove our 47 foot rig all over the US mainland
with a paper cup of Coors Light on the dashboard
and a supply of diet pills to break off pieces to maintain a nice balance.
That was the healthiest period of my life. I was in great shape.
Now I take no pills, two beers is my limit, and I’m dragging around.
It doesn’t seem fair.
We were having dinner with Major Schwab at the Shaw AFB Officers’ Club.
The waiter poured a tiny bit of wine in Misty’s glass for her to okay it.
She had such a disappointed expression!
Misty looked up at him and said, “Is that it?”
At a concert at Walt Disney World, the stagehands lowered the stage
at the BEGINNING of our closing number!
We watched the audience disappear.
We must have looked like “Kilroy was here”.
Stagehands don’t always watch the show.
Syd Nathan, founder of King Records, said this to me in the 1960’s:
“There are lots of people to pick your friends from,
so why not pick friends who can make me money?”
When Misty was six years old she sang “Cabin in the Sky”
on a radio talent program.
That’s a tough song to sing even for an adult.
The winner was a kid that tap danced. On the RADIO!
The announcer, Colin Male, later became her brother-in-law,
and he was the announcer on The Andy Griffith Show.
FUN AT HOME…
Misty says, “You’re growing old with grace.
And Grace is getting sick of it.
I just asked her what we’re having for dinner.
She said, “Eggs Quarantine.”
I said, “Why do you love to yell at the newscasters?”
She said, “Can you read fingers?”
I said, “Do you ever have deja vu?”
Misty said, “Didn’t you just ask me that a minute ago?”
AND IN CLOSING…
The elections are still about a year and a half away
and the maroons are already posting their cheap shots.
I’ll be under the sink if you need me.