A COLUMN TO MAKE YOU SMILE, #7.
The doctors did everything they could to treat him,
administering all the latest breakthrough drugs.
He died this morning of side effects.
I think they should put a “NO HOPPING” sign
on the White House fence.
No matter what you say somebody will take it too seriously.
HEALTH TIP #1…
I get my iron (ferrous) oxide from licking recording tape.
HEALTH TIP #2…
I only eat animals that are vegetarians.
People who deny global warming
are taking all the fun out of the end of the world.
If I knew you were comin’ I’d have baked a cat.
Their eyes met and they ran toward each other in slow motion!
They whirled in each other’s arms!
He cracked his funnybone on the back of a chair,
but he didn’t let on.
I just asked Misty what we’re having for supper.
She said, “The kind of food that you throw at each other.”
SPIRIT MESSAGE FROM THE OTHER SIDE…
“Would you take Mickey Rooney Back?”
I’m a Democrat but I voted for two Republican presidents.
I had a lot of money at the time
and I didn’t want the needy to get any of it.
I’m more angelic now.
My old stomping ground is nicer than I left it.
Like somebody cleaned up after me.
Lab tests have shown that if you put a bunch of mice in a box
and let them multiply without enlarging the box,
they start to look at each other funny.
There are more crazy mice and they start attacking others.
Some of the crazy ones form groups.
That’s what’s happening now with humans.
In England they celebrate that the Pilgrims left.