THE CHICKEN COOP.

Here is the way I remember this adventure.

We didn’t think they had rednecks in New Jersey.
We were wrong.

We had just finished a concert at the classy Garden State Art Center,
and were looking on the map for our next booking…
a place called The Chicken Coop, in Vineland, New Jersey.

We pulled into the gravel parking lot
and up to a wooden barn-like building.
The lot was almost full of trucks.
The crowd was there… waiting for us.

We went in and I heard somebody say,
“Get a load of this bunch” about us.
We had longish hair and this was 1970.

The stage had a chicken wire screen
so the patrons could not throw anything solid at us.
I sneaked a glance at the crowd
and told our guitar player, Wayne Bridge,
to get out his steel instead of the lead guitar.

People were all either scowling, laughing, or sneering at us,
or so it seemed in my imagination.
We got plugged in
and opened with a fast country shuffle beat.
The folks were surprised but sort of quiet.
We didn’t now what to expect.

At the end, the applause was deafening!
One gigantic man in bib overalls yelled “SOOEY”
so loudly that I thought the P.A system had shut off.
Nothing hit the screen in front of us.

This bunch was great!
We shook a lot of hands
and they bought up our albums.

The club owner couldn’t have been nicer.
He gave us a couple of cases of beer for the road
as a going away present.

We were hoping to go back some time,
but we never got up that way again.
They learned that you can’t tell a book by its cover,
and we learned the same about them.

Jack Blanchard.
http://jackandmisty.net/

© Copyright 4/21/2015, Jack Blanchard.

Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan…
Grammy & CMA Award Finalists.
Billboard Duet of the Year.
Home Page: www.jackandmisty.net
Mastering & restoration studio: 407 330 1611

 

CHEERING YOU UP AGAIN.

When Tom T. Hall called and asked me to write the liner notes for his new album,
I said “What do you want me to write?”
He said “Just write the way you do.”
I asked “Have you read my stuff?”
He said “Yep. Loretta Lynn lent me a book of yours on a plane.”

Roger Miller had a bunch of country stars in his suite drinking until about 6 AM.
Roger opened the drapes
and sunlight poured in from the East like a nuclear blast.
He said, “God’s coming, and he’s got his brights on.”

Roy said, “Do you want something to eat?”
Trigger said, “No thanks. I’m stuffed.”

I used to be a great whistler, and whistled in some of our records.
I can’t do it anymore.
But I can stillI grip a perch with my feet!

If they make a movie of our life it better be a talkie!

IN THE NEWS…
The Israelis are developing an airport security device that will not X-ray you,
but will detonate any explosive device
you may have on your person.

I asked the guy behind the counter
if he had wild cherry cough drops.
He said yes.
I said “Are they really wild?”
He said “We can hardly keep them in the box.”

In today’s headlines: “A man bit a snake… twice!”
He said he just doesn’t like snakes.
The authorities took him to jail and rushed the snake to a hospital,
where it received numerous stitches on the bites.
The snake had no comment,
but had an expression that said “What the HELL?!”

In my grandmother’s last days I sat by her hospital bed.
We talked and joked a little. She always had a sense of humor.
She said she wasn’t afraid to die, but she just didn’t want to.
Like a young idiot I asked “Why?”
She smiled and said this:
“I’m afraid I might miss something.”

We met two young British songwriters on the street in Nashville.
The song they pitched us was “Let’s Go Out and Kill Something”.

Two words helped to make us famous… or infamous…
“Chirp chirp”.

Misty’s running the vacuum cleaner around my desk.
Why am I afraid of it?

I’m gaining weight.
I’m going to have to do a sit-up.

Misty just came from Publix.
She told me a guy said this to her:
“I saw you over there giving the bananas a dirty look.”

The Sound of Music came on and Misty was singing along in a high soprano range.
When the song ended she said:
“OH, CRAP! MY SOUP! IT’S ALL OVER THE STOVE!”

I had a chance to go straight, but I went into music instead.

Jack Blanchard.
www.jackandmisty.net

Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan…
Grammy & CMA Award Finalists.
Billboard Duet of the Year.
Home Page: www.jackandmisty.net
Mastering & restoration studio: 407 330 1611

 

RAILROAD DAYS.

A long time ago…
we were on our way to do a national television show
from the PBS studio in Pittsburgh,
and then to a Nashville recording session.
Sometimes life can be good.

The porter showed us to our compartment and stowed our luggage.
Orlando was sliding away past our windows,
so we settled down, propped our feet on our suitcases,
and waited for snow.

An official voice over the PA system:
“You’re invited to the dining car for the hospitality hour”,
Free coffee and orange juice”.
Misty said, “Let’s live a little”,
and we staggered forward with the sway of the train.
Passing through the club car, the train rounded a curve,
and Misty sat on an elderly man’s lap.
His wife said, “Well, I never” and glared out the window at nothing.
She failed to see the humor in it.

The best part of the dining car
is watching the scenery fly by in sunset colors.
Telephone poles tick away the time,
and up ahead the train whistle adds to the adventure.
At every road and city street, cars are lined up waiting for us to pass by.
Make way for the train,
the biggest thing that moves on land!

We stayed awake most of that night
wiping our breath steam from the train window,
and watching the sparkling towns and moonlit woodlands
fall away behind us.

Washington DC was having a brisk morning
as we left our luxury train and boarded a coach bound for Pittsburgh,
which wove slowly through the gray land Appalachia.
There were untidy traces of leftover winter,
dingy crusts of snow and slush.

Smoky air had left its film on town and country alike, dulling the colors.
Trees, houses, factories, cars, dogs, cats, grass, and people
all blend to a drab tannish gray.

Men in work clothes stand in the cold rain
waiting for the train to take them home after another hard day.

A pregnant woman
struggles to get a baby carriage over the curbside slush pile
without dropping her bag of groceries.
Clothes are functional.
No time for style.

A gang of workmen lined up in the aisle waiting to get off,
whisper and snicker at our haircut and clothes.
We must seem outlandish to them.
Misty and I smile at each other, taking no offense.
The train stops and they file off,
lunch boxes under their arms,
heads bowed against the gray rain,
each seeking out the dreary street that leads home.

The train was owned by The Baltimore and Ohio/Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad,
and the train staff was proud of it:
R.G. Whitling, Conductor; L. Boone, Flagman,  and E.A. Popp, Baggageman.
Their hospitality brought color back to this leg of the journey.
Nature soon followed suit, producing a beautiful rocky river
that wandered for miles through scenic hill country.

Journeys can remain
after destinations fade from memory.

Jack Blanchard

Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan…
Grammy & CMA Award Finalists.
Billboard Duet of the Year.
Home Page: www.jackandmisty.net
Mastering & restoration studio: 407 330 1611